I’ll never see myself as a boy

I wish I could see myself as the boy I feel like. I just can’t let go of the hyper-femininity that I’ve grown so used to, love, and embrace as a part of my identity. However, because of this, I don’t feel like I’ll ever be seen as a boy and an outcast within my own community. I don't want to cut my hair or change my style, and I'm somewhat scared to go on T cause I don't want to look that masculine. I'm far too comfortable with my femininity because I don't think I’ll ever see myself as the boy that I know I truly am.