Really struggling with needing to end a 9+ year relationship.

I (29f) have been with my boyfriend (30m) for 9 years, living together for 7. I love him so much, he's my best friend, but I just don't think we work together romantically, and we probably never have if I am being honest with myself. There is almost no intimacy in our relationship. He won't hold my hand, he doesn't like to cuddle, we haven't had sex in months, and we rarely ever have any deep conversations. It feels like we really are just roommates.

I know I am not happy and my needs aren't being met, but thinking of my life without him makes me feel physically sick. I know this is not a unique situation, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I feel a lot of guilt, like I wasted his time, and I know our families are going to be really upset about it as well. Plus I know its going to be extremely painful and I am afraid of being alone, especially after spending close to every day with someone and sleeping in the same bed together every night. It's hard to express the full range of emotions I have about this. I know what I need to do, but it feels like there is no good decision.

Does anyone have any advice on how do deal with a situation like this, or words of encouragement from people who have been through it?

tldr Having difficulty coming to terms with the reality of a 9 year relationship with my best friend and the impending ending of it