I'm alone, dissociated and not sleeping in a while, please read, I need to talk.

I feel like I'm under a colossal column of water that pushes on my head and I can't sleep. I feel like I wanna talk to someone but I don't have anyone to talk to. As I'm writing this i feel like deleting it at every word but I'm just trying not to. Forgive me if I won't write it correctly but evey word's just slipping out of my mind the second I write it down. Today I broke in tears a lot without a particular motivation, I seem to like feeling sad cause right now it's the only thing that feels real, I've been awake for two and a half days right now and I feel like going to sleep would make me have a panick attack, but I also feel like if I don't I'm gonna regret it. I started to study today but I dropped it after maybe 20 minutes and I feel like if I go back to it I wouldn't understand shit. I love the subject I'm specializing in but right now the only thing I see is void. Forgive me if this post feels meaningless and repetitive but I'm really trying hard to write it and not delete everything. I'm thinking about suicide and while I write about it I want to delete it, but I'm not going to. I don't know what's wrong or what's happening, I'm so confused. Please help me, please.