YOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK AND GLISTENING GOLDEN FAM!!! MY DUDES, DUDETTES, AND DUDEXS!!!

YOUR FAVORITE TEAM, THE BEST FRANCHISE IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS, ARE BACK IN ACTION AGAIN TONIGHT, SO IT'S TIME TO GET

HYYYYYPPPPPEEEEEDDDD

NYCFC, THE CONSUMMATE MINOR LEAGUE FARM TEAM, IS COMING TO TOWN TO GET THEIR BUTTS HANDED TO THEM BY OUR BELOVED CAMPEÓNES! WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THEIR PLAYERS STILL HEAR YOU SINGING IN THEIR EARS WHEN THEY PLAY NEXT WEEK!!!

LA HAS BEEN THROUGH SOME SHIT IN 2025, AND HYPEMAN KNOWS THERE'S MORE TO COME. BUT THAT JUST MEANS THESE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, GLORIOUS TIMES TO COME TOGETHER SHOULDER TO SHOULDER ARE EVEN MORE IMPORTANT!!! SO

JUMP FOR LA FOOTBALL CLUB!!! OLE! OLE!

UNTIL YOU CAN'T JUMP ANYMORE!!!

DALLLLEEEEEEEE!!!!

HYPEMAN OUT