why do I feel so numb

I lost my beloved soulmate cat on Monday and I cried over him for two full days, then I just sort of numbed out. There are a few factors that could contribute to this, like I just increased dosage of a mood stabilizer; I was already spiraling into a dark place before it happened and crying every day; I'm possibly in THE most stressful period of my entire life right now, not even including this. Still, why do I suddenly not feel the intense sadness and pain I felt right after it happened? Is this normal? I have a tendency to avoid my feelings by distracting myself. I guess I'm just trying to not think about it. I have been avoiding looking at pictures of him, looking at his bed, etc. I'm waiting for his vet to call and let me know his ashes are ready to be picked up, but I think maybe I still don't truly believe he's gone and I'm actually just going to pick him up from a vet appointment and everything will be back to normal. It's so quiet at home without him here, even with my other cat. I definitely notice his absence but I feel like I haven't truly registered/accepted that he's GONE. I feel so strange and heartless not crying as much as I was the first two days. I don't feel okay at all, I just feel numb. I don't even feel intensely about my other problems the way I did before it happened. I feel like this was a breaking point for me and now I'm, well, broken?